7 Lessons I've learned from Kindness
There is a fantastic saying in a world where you can be anything be kind! Never a more true sentiment.
There is quite rightly an increase in outcall from the media to approach the conduct and expressions of kindness in different and more aware ways and it got me thinking about the personal lessons I have learnt about kindness on my journey.
Kindness is something that costs nothing
When we extend our kindness to someone it literally costs us nothing, all it needs to be is a hello, smile, how are you? It isn’t a lot to ask or even a lot to offer but it is FREE and they do say the best things in life are free. I think that although kindness does cost nothing, the gift it gives to others is priceless, unlimited and means so so much that it can even be immeasurable. I remember passing out in the supermarket when I was pregnant and a lovely old lady was the only person who sought help and made sure I was okay. She was on her way somewhere made herself late, but took the time to get staff to help me and even told me how it was quite normal to pass out in the stage of pregnancy I was at, my eldest who was said bump is now turning 14 but that act of kindness has stayed with me so long, it meant so much and literally cost her nothing!
Being unkind hurts you as much as it does the person you are directing the unkindness to.
We’ve all bitten someone's head off, shouted at the kids and passed a judgement where we shouldn’t have and for most of us after the event, we are frankly left feeling shitty, shitty that we made someone else feel bad and shitty with ourselves for the way we acted. This is why it always pays to just take that breath before speaking and ask ourselves to use the well-known THINK...
Is it True?
Is it Helpful?
Is it Inspiring?
Is it necessary?
Is it KIND
I think the last one is the most important of these to be honest with you!
Often the strongest people are the kindest.
I saw a post on social media recently and it said don’t misjudge my kindness for weakness, in fact, I have seen a lot of these type of things lately and it made me think about how there are people who have assigned that being kind is somehow a weakness into their belief system.
As you know I am all about self-limiting beliefs and I can tell you that this is one that is not only limiting it’s damaging.
Some of the strongest people I know are the kindest they are the ones who have the strength of character, know who they are what they want out of life and do so much to help, lift and inspire others because they love to. I actually think that the strongest people are often the kindest because they are emotionally secure and aware in themselves so extend that kindness outwards to others naturally!
We grow and rise by lifting each other ( technically is this kindness or just unified thinking)
I believe that we are better and stronger together and that means recognising people have different things, experience, gifts and talents to bring to the table. When we work together we can grow, rise and lift each other up. I know this is about more than kindness but kindness is where it starts to hold a hand out to the people next to you and let them know that you may be different yea, but you get where they are coming from or at least you try to.
If you want to receive kindness send it out even more
We all like people to be kind to us, even if we won’t admit it we would rather have someone smile at us when we need a gesture than not. So if you need kindness and want kindness in your life it is so important to put it out there! We attract what we send out, I don’t just mean in the law of attraction kind of way or karmic way but the signals we give off and the energy that we lead with is what we attract back. If you are someone who emits a kind energy i’m sure you are going to be the person who is getting it back, In the unlikely event that you keep showing kindness to the same people and get quite the opposite back I’d advise you assess if you need to keep those people in your life and do some boundary setting because if you aren’t being kind to yourself it isn’t the message you’re sending out to others..
No act of kindness is ever too small - a smile - a wave -
I sort of covered this one already so I just want to short and sweet reiterate it. A smile, a wave, a hello or even an invite to sit next to you is a small act of kindness but to someone else, it can mean the world. No little gesture is too small so don’t feel you have to do anything complicated or special to be kind keep it simple!
Kindness without expectation is the greatest gift of all
When we show kindness without any expectation we are giving the greatest gift of all to the person we are showing it to and to ourselves.
When we are in that place where we can show kindness and expect nothing in return we know we are at peace within our hearts and are treating people in a way that defines who we are.
Kindness is about facilitating connection, not isolation so when we open up we build community, great things can grow here and we can feel safe to show even more kindness.
I know that we are busy often in our own worlds with our own objectives but that is even more reason to lift our heads, interact with each other and share the love and compassion we have within our hearts and souls to make each other feel embraced, loved, secure and unified within our journeys.
For me, kindness I hope is something that I naturally extend and in turn, I always feel people are kind to me I am not going to say I haven’t been on the receiving end of unkindness - I have and I am sure I will again but I do choose not to accept that energy, let it stick to me, take head of what is said and I certainly don’t go into the arena of dishing it back because frankly if I look the other way I can see kind hearts, souls and spirits waiting to lift me and that energy is what I will allow to grow we all deserve it to ourselves and others to do this.
The women who may be too scared to speak to you and comes across as a little snooty or uptight might be feeling chronically shy, have had a bad start to there day or be so overcome by feelings of insecurity thinking that you appear to have it all together she may not dare to be the first to speak or smile.
Give her a smile a gentle hello because - well for the seven reasons above and plenty more we should all always choose to be kind!